Ismalphabet

ABCism (everything must be alphabetized)
Brothism (everything must be soupified)
Cigarism (everything must smoke the cigar)
Dizzyism (everything must faint)
Electric boilerism (everything must boil and turn off by itself)
Fuckupism (everything must fuck up)
Getoffism (everything must get off)
HickupHICKism (everything HICK must HICK hickup)
Iceism (everything must ice over into a giant ice cream)
Jollyism (everything must be uncomfortably nice)
Kommunism (everyone must be equal)
Larsism (everything must be Larsified)
Mmmmmmism (everything must be hummed)
Netstockingism (everything must rustlingly network)
Ohifimaysaysoism (everything must oh if I may say so be said)
Pointlessism (everything must lack point)
Qism (everything must be used to help a secret agent)
Rimexistensialism (everything must live on the very rim)
Staststsatammerism (everything must stammer with stamina)
Tetherism (everything must pull at its tether)
Undueism (everything must unduely use as many U's as possible)
Vroufism (everything must bark)
Wowism (everything must gawp)
X-traism (everything must have that little extra)
Yellism (everything must yell)
- eller: Youism (everything must be you)
Zebraism (everything must be instriped)

- Oversat efter "Ismealfabetet", Alfabeter fra Pluto, af Rebecca Albinus og oplæst af mig i The Glamour Bar onsdag aften (Rebecca havde glemt G - ligesom jeg i mit allerførste alfabet Råbealfabetet glemte L - som jeg selv er kommet med et bud på; Y var en særdeles hård nød, som vi har hvert vores knæk på (nr. 2 er mit)). Tak til Rebecca for oversættelsen og resten af hendes entusiastiske og allersomvenligste indsats i Shanghai.